I seek the voice of the most high

Sitting on the office rooftop swing

A quiet place

Away from the busy and crowded streets

With human generated noise

Distant from the foul air

A hiding place from all my fear and worries

I take a few breaths and listen

Hoping my next breath will create the voice I seek

But instead it creates something new to gaze at

A crippled boy’s story across the street

Lying in his stretched, thin, weak arms

Subjected to hunger, thirst and poverty

His appearance filled with anguish

Asking for charity

Receiving different forms of pity and disgust instead

My past is suddenly filled with guilt

For I once gave that crippled boy

My own version of pity and disgust

In pursuit of a

Fruitless job hunt

Pointless job

Future less relationship

Unnecessary conversation

And a meaningless friendship

Time to seek a new vision

Knowing what steps not to take

For the voice i sought after in a quiet place

I heard through the crippled boy’s story

Knitting me into a cloth called forever

The uncertainty of what my future holds

Cripples me

Stuck in this thought, I feel an unbearable

lump rising in my throat

A prickly feeling that seems not to end

Suddenly regret cuts deep into my soul

A constant reminder of what i ought to have done

Knowing i made a grave mistake

I eat, work, party and sleep

Just for the sake of living my lifeless existence

Trying to pull off a smile from time to time

But my thoughts remain soaked in worry

Drowning in the phrase

“time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters”

I hope to find that missing piece

To fix all my doubts about life

My purpose in life