
She pointed out the way I see the world…
My views
My reasoning
She said I live in a dream
Like wanting depth is naive
Like the word love is a curse
Like dreaming is dangerous
Wanting more than the ordinary makes my mind wrong
She was right
My mind lives far from reality
My spirit stretches past reality
She was right
I live in my mind
I survive in my mind
And to survive is to pretend
To believe in something more than what’s in front of me
I wish I could explain the feeling I get when I watch fictional love stories
This out of body experience that finds me
Where love is art
And in that suspended minute
this world… this life… feels foreign
And in that suspended minute
“I don’t belong here.”
I belong in the pages
In the scenes
That feel more like home than the one I’m in ever will
I always thought love
My love
Would feel like art
Like in the stories
artful, consuming, honest
With someone who creates, who feels, who imagines…
With someone who wants more from life
Someone like me
Someone who can sit in a quiet room and still hear music
Now…?
Now I know
There is no reason in love
It just happens
You fall.
But how…
How do I stay in love with someone who accepts the world as it is
Who only sees through their scars
Who believes magic is a lie
Who thinks wonder and fantasy are things you outgrow
Who cannot and might never meet me in the sky?
How do I stay in something
That doesn’t feel like the love I always believed in
Will I spend my life explaining
That I don’t live in a world that makes sense
I live in feeling
And most times that makes me feel alone?
Now…?
Now I know
There is no reason in love
It just happens
You fall
You fall for
what feels almost real
almost enough…
You fall.



