I think I can finally name it
It’s not fear
It’s not emptiness
It’s love
I want someone I can love
I truly do
Just…not now
I’m not running from love
I haven’t locked that door
Just…not now
Now?
I’m learning
I respect love too much to welcome it with confused hands
Because when it’s time
I want to meet love awake
Truly me
Not hoping to feel at home in someone else’s eyes
But at home in my own
So until then
I don’t want to make the mistake of filling confused spaces with temporary people
I do want someone I can love
Just not now
And for the first time in a long time
That feels okay
PIECESBYRUTH 